The Gold Dust Secrets

“There is gold dust in the air- for me, for you and for all of mankind. Through definite, deliberate prosperous thinking, we can now begin assimilating that gold dust. And even now we are beginning to experience gold dust results.”

As soon as I grabbed this success secret my life began to change.

Spiritual laws have enabled me to understand why and where I had limited myself and with that I set myself free. The spiritual laws also enabled me to understand that I am made of this gold dust. I am pure potential and this pure potential surrounds me and works through me. Together we make up the whole of the universe and beyond. It is only this gold dust that exists but it takes various forms. I am gold dust, you are gold dust, so is your digital device and your wooden chair. If I focus my thoughts, emotions and beliefs I can direct this gold dust to manifest anything into my reality. 

Following the laws of this gold dust enabled me to put my life in order. If you are currently experiencing limitation you need to start following the laws in your thinking, emotions, health, financial, affairs, love - in fact in all of your life. 

I would like to introduce you to the dynamic laws of this gold dust and the tools that will enable you to implement them. When understood and used together they will enable you to manifest abundance into your reality. Together this is what I call the Anstey Laws of Fabulousness, in my blog posts I will be breaking them down, I will be doing my best to explain them so that we can all be making sure we practice them in our daily living.

Fabulous thinking means many things to many people basically it gives you the power to make your dreams come true whether your dreams are better health finances, a happier personal life, education, a deeper spiritual connection or travel .The list is limitless as anything can happen or be desired. 

When I look at myself now I can see the look of success, self-confidence and inner happiness. When I am in tune and embracing the laws I am magnetic from the inside out.

But we can falter, remember we are all learning. As I reach new heights in my personal and professional life I am experiencing new challenges. In recent weeks I forgot the laws, I ignored my daily practice. Fear, doubt and disappointment entered my thoughts and emotions so I then experienced these results in my immediate reality.

But the good thing is I know that by simply following the laws once more and by focusing my thoughts and emotions with daily practice everything will get back to a fabulous path. This is the one thing I love so much about this work and the laws, as much as life can change in a instance negatively we can use the laws to understand why and get back on the fabulous path even quicker than we slipped off.

“There is gold dust in the air - the universe is created of radiant substance to which we have unlisted access. We form our world from this rich substance through our thoughts, emotions, words and actions.”

So may we experience our life knowing that there is gold dust in the air and that we have the power to create a fabulous reality with our own deliberate daily thinking.

You are pure potential everything and anything is possible. Let us understand this process of manifestation, let us start living by these laws, and may we reveal to ourselves what we need to release and affirm to create a clear route for that pure potential to work through us and form into our desires. Lets all live a fabulous life.

The future is created by the thoughts you think today, which are driven by your core beliefs about yourself. If you want the future to be better than today, you must think thoughts that make you feel better than you've thought before. For most people, this means you have to stop feeding your negative core beliefs and start feeding your future with positive intent.

“Today we know much about molecules and atoms and subatomic particles. But what is not commonly known is that the focus of research is now being centred, not on the minute particles of the material, but on what is called “reality of the nonmaterial” The space between them is now considered more important than the particles themselves. In this space is to be found a field of force that holds the particles in their orbits. It is even being conjectured that the particle is not just acted upon by the force, but it is the force acting as a particle.” Spiritual Economics by Eric Butterworth (pg. 15)

It is this invisible force, this intelligent space that I call the gold dust. This gold dust not only created us but it works through us creating the forms within our life and our experience. The concept of gold dust can implode your mind at first, but once you get it you can truly understand the creative process.

This power, this gold dust is often referred to as Infinite Intelligence. This Infinite Intelligence is whole, perfect and complete. It is a force that can create any experience and any form in the human world in which we live.

We are made from this Infinite Intelligence so as we are already “it” we too are whole, perfect and complete. We have the power within us to create and experience anything in our reality. The fact is - for us to even think it, it has to already exist, all we need to do is to make sure that our personal consciousness and vibration matches the desire to attract it into our reality.  And this is the key, all the work, all the effort comes from within us, we do not need to chase or step outside ourselves to get what we want. We do not need to act from a place of fear or lack. If we require something in our reality we have to make sure that our own personal consciousness matches the vibration of what we desire, whilst asking for the gold dust to bring it into our experience appropriately. 

When we truly understand that this Infinite Intelligence is all there is, we cannot help but understand that we exist within this gold dust. When we know the truth of Infinite Intelligence we know the truth of ourselves. When we ask for something it implies that there is a power separate from us that we must appeal to before we can receive a desired outcome. When we know that we have the power we CLAIM what we want and use our own power as a guiding force that reveals it to us. Reveal is the important word, remember everything we ever want already exists we just need to consciously use our power to draw the gold dust into form and attract it to our life experience.

This force, this infinite intelligence is unlimited, it is only our consciousness that can be limited. Limitation is only an appearance; it is not the truth of our spiritual nature. All negative appearances can be dissolved and removed from our day-to-day experience with various tools and techniques which we will be looking at constantly within my work.

“You belong to the universe in which you live, you are one with the Creative Genius back of this vast array of ceaseless motion, this original flow of life. You are as much a part of it as the sun, the earth and the air. There is something in you telling you this – like a voice echoing from some mountain top of inward vision, like a light whose origin no man has seen, like an impulse welling up from an invisible source. Your soul belongs to the universe. Your mind is an outlet through which the Creative Intelligence of the universe seeks fulfilment. This is your starting point for investigating the meaning of those impulses, longings, and desires which accompany you through life. You may accept that the source through which they come is real. You may accept that the universe is filled with a Divine and Infinite Presence, perhaps the infinite of yourself. Not the infinite of your limited self, but the infinite of the Divine Self you must be. There must be a pattern of yourself in this invisible. The greatest minds of all the ages have accepted that such a pattern exists. Socrates called it his spirit, Jesus his Father in Heaven. Some ancient mystics called it Atman. Why don’t you call it just you, your complete self? For surely this is what they have all meant. Just try to catch the larger vision and realize that there have been and are people many of them, who have wooed and wed some invisible presence until Its atmosphere and essence have become woven into the fabric of their own existence. Every man is a doorway, as Emerson said, through which the Infinite passes into the Finite, though which God becomes man, through which the Universal becomes the Individual” 

Ernest Holmes - The Thing Called You (pp.3-4)



One Infinite Intelligence

There is One Infinite Intelligence, One Mind

One Universal Consciousness permeating all existence.

This power is:

  • Omnipotence – All Power
  • Omniscience – All Knowledge
  • Omnipresence-  Everywhere at all times evenly.

You are Infinite Intelligence

The name by which this power is known is unimportant. Go with what feels right for you, some descriptions include:

The Source, Presence, The Un-Manifest, The Universe, Power Within, Life Force, Creative Mind, Infinite Intelligence, Energy, God, Awareness & Consciousness, Divine Spirit. 

I like to use Gold Dust as it reminds me that it is abundant and can create all forms.

In our human experience, we have mistakenly believed ourselves to be separate from the One Presence and it is this belief in separation that results in our inharmonious reactions and experiences of life. 

We can experience life on a more harmonious and healing level if we are open and receptive to its flow and understand that we are the One Presence in expression. We already are its wholeness; any sense of lack is just an appearance that can be altered with a shift in our own personal belief system.

We can always know exactly where we are on our spiritual journey by looking at our reality, this is the Law of Correspondence. Everything in our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. If we have joy, peace and abundance, then we are balanced, spiritually and materially. If we are not, everywhere we have lack shows us where we are out of balance within ourselves. When we are willing to do the inner work our outer reality will reflect the results back to us. It is important that we also understand that we all have our own personal rhymn, being you is all you ever have to aim for. Inner contentment, bliss and abundance is personal and cannot be measured by material things or socially expected titles. I teach fabulousness as it is what makes me feel like me,  I love glamour, dressing up and being over the top feminine, for you it may be very different and that is ok. In fact it is more than ok, I would love it even more if you used the tools that work for me to reveal a inner you that was like the chalk to my cheese.  This work is about you honouring yourself, you have spent too long trying to be what you felt others expected you to be, today decide to allow your inner you to shine. I for one can’t wait to meet you and I know that the true you is very excited to be meeting you soon too.

Our belief system can affect our experiences, but by changing our conscious and subconscious beliefs we can change our experiences.

What we give out, we get back. We are like magnets.

The ultimate goal for all of us on a spiritual path is the realisation of our true spiritual identity, which is wholeness

Wholeness, Contentment, Love, Bliss & Happiness

The Creative Process

This gold dust is pure potential.

You are gold dust!

Therefore you are pure potential.

Everything, everywhere is accessible to you as pure potential. 

You just need to create a focused conscious doorway within your soul for the gold dust to work through then your desires to take form. 

From within you create your outside experience. 

It's the law of cause and effect. One of the many spiritual laws that we can use to not only create our desires but to also realise and dissolve any limitations that may appear within our consciousness.

We turn this gold dust, this pure potential into form with focused thoughts, emotions and belief.

Potential becomes realized when you focus your attention on an imagined outcome, this in turn causes that potential to expand until it becomes energy. You attract that energy into your reality by expecting the outcome to occur through desire or fear. This energy could for example take the form of an experience or object.

If your beliefs allow, meaning your energy matches the energy of the expected outcome, what was potential becomes realised.

Its principles are:

1) Like Attracts Like
2) Focus Causes Expansion

Another way of defining the Law of Attraction is:

Thought + Allowance = Manifestation

Everything you want already exists, but may not yet appear within your reality. To attract it into your world, intend it, focus on it, expect it, and accept it.

You don’t have to earn it because you are already worthy of it. You don’t have to sacrifice anything for it because you are it in essence. You are connected to it by virtue of who you are. When who you are "being" vibrates in accord with it, it is yours, no matter what!

How long does it all take?

As we live in a three-dimensional world, there is an element of time that passes before manifestations take place. How much time depends upon the intensity of the desire or fear, the depth of the belief, and what The Universe must coordinate behind the scenes to make it happen.

This is why faith is so powerful, regardless of what you believe in. But if you doubt your worthiness, or limit your possibilities, or waver in your vision during the buffer of time, your lowered energy slows the attraction of your desired outcome and delays its fulfilment, sometimes indefinitely.

If you persist in seeing your future unfold according to your vision, no matter how things seem in the present, you will not only attract what you desire, you will have it as quickly as possible.

There are various practices that will help you get there, this is the whole purpose of everything I teach and create. Each day I want us all to feel supported and reminded of the truth of who we are to keep us all at our highest vibration possible. I have to practice and remind myself every day too, we are in this together. 

We are all human, we can have good days and bad. It is how we react to the bad times that is now important. Our feelings are the key, for many of us we ignore our feelings or try to forget them with huge glasses of wine, food or drugs. 

We cannot desire or try to use the law of attraction from a place of need or pain. The law has a clever way of giving us what we need to grow. By feeling our pain we can resolve it and understand the lesson it secretly holds within. As we explore our hurts, pains and fears - our guilt, regrets and shame we open ourselves up to self healing. Through forgiveness and self-love we can mend ourselves and thus really begin to feel this wholeness that we discuss so much in this work.

Sitting in our pain hurts, but ignoring it does not mean that it has gone away and it remains in us and causes blocks within our personal creative process.

This may seem scary but I have done this and survived! I will continue to do this and share my own experience with you. In my work you will see me cry, you will hear me swear, give up and then get back to the job in hand. I use myself as a tool to show you how it works. Giving birth to a new life can feel like its killing us at the time, we hold on so desperately to what we know (even if it isn’t good for us) but when we know in our core that we feel sad, that our life isn’t happy we owe it to ourselves to take ourselves to a new place, a place where we feel safe, secure and free. Both physically, mentally and emotionally.

If you keep the Law of Attraction principles in mind, honour your true feelings at all times and hold the highest intention for all. You will reveal your wholeness and it’s abundance within all areas of your life.

It is your divine right to feel safe, secure and free. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

The Universal Laws

What Are The Universal Laws

Universal Laws are fundamental laws of mind and spirit. They are all inter-related and operate on all levels: physical, mental and spiritual.

They are eternal, universal and absolute. You can rely on these principles to operate inevitably, everywhere, all the time. 

Working with these laws, understanding and applying them will let us live in harmony, leading to a well-rounded fabulous life. This harmonious life becomes effortless bringing balance, well-being and prosperity.

The Law of Oneness 

  • The Law of Divine Oneness helps us to understand that we live in a world where everything is connected to everything else. Everything we do, say, think and believe affects others and the universe around us.

The Law of Vibration 

  • This Universal Law states that everything in the Universe moves, vibrates, and travels in circular patterns.
  •  Science has discovered that underlying all forms of matter there is an underlying energy of vibration. This is not metaphysical theory but is scientific verifiable fact. Everything in the universe is vibrating, from the atom, the molecule, to a tree or a mountain. There is a vibration in every living thing.
  • The rate of vibration determines its form. Slow vibration manifests as a rock, fast vibration registers as wind, very high vibrations register as sound and music. The variation is endless. The law holds true in every aspect of life. Vibration is in the physical world, within our thoughts, feelings, desires, and dreams. Every vibrational frequency has a unique vibration.

 The Law of Rhythm

  • This Universal Law states that everything vibrates and moves to certain rhythms. These rhythms establish seasons, cycles, stages of development, and patterns. Each cycle reflects the regularity of God’s universe. Masters of this law know how to rise above negative parts of a cycle by never getting too excited or allowing negative things to penetrate their consciousness.

The Law of Cause and Effect

  • This Universal Law states that nothing happens by chance. Every action has a reaction or consequence and we “reap what we have sown.” This Law, like others, is impartial. They work whether you entertain the positive or negative. This makes each of us responsible for the quality of our own thoughts, emotions, lives and relationships.
  • Remember that your choices become your destiny for “like begets like.” Choose wisely.

The Law of Attraction

  • This Universal Law is “Like attracts Like.” It is a simple principle to understand.  Our thoughts, feelings, words, and actions produce energies, which in turn, attract like energies. Negative attract negative and positive attract positive.
  • It is easy to live by default, reacting instead of co-creating. The key to mastering this law is to focus your attention on what you want to attract.

The Law of Gratitude

  • Be thankful. Count your Blessings. Gratitude is important because it generates an extremely positive vibration. It connects us with God. The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best therefore it will receive the best.

The Law of Increase / Compensation

  • This Universal Law states that for every action there must be a reaction.  What goes around comes around.
  • This is readily apparent when applied to blessings and the issue of abundance. Say we give our time freely to a charity or make a generous donation. It might not happen immediately but somewhere down the line we will be compensated for that action. The visible effects of our deeds are given to us in gifts, money, inheritances, friendships, and blessings.
  • This Law states that the spirit of your action multiplies the result. Check your purpose, sincerity and willingness to insure multiplication by this law.
  • The key is application. Apply whatever you want to your thoughts, words and actions. It will grow and return to you as the “fruits” of your efforts.
  • This Law is an arm from Cause and Effect being applied to abundance and blessings that come into our lives. Compensation is the visible effects of our deeds; it can show up as gifts, money, friendships, or any other blessing given to us due to our actions.

The Law of Circulation

  • The law of circulation states that all things in the universe are always flowing in circulation, but at an ever-expanding rate. What you give to one person, you will receive from a different source. So you don’t have to give with the expectation of receiving back from the same person you give to, but knowing that it will definitely come back to you multiplied from other sources. It works according to the law of cause and effect where the universe always mirrors back to you whatever you do.

The Law of Perpetual Transmutation

  • This Universal Law states that energy never dies it simply transforms.  Higher vibrations consume and transform lower ones.  As energy we all have the power to change any condition in our lives. Producing a higher vibration consumes and transforms lower ones. This means we can change the energies in our lives by understanding the Universal Laws and applying their principles that will produce change. 

The Law of Polarity

  • This Law states that everything has an opposite. Light has to have dark in order to understand each. If we change an undesirable thought by concentrating on the opposite thought, brings a desirable change.
  • A practical application of this Law is that we can suppress and transform undesirable thoughts by concentrating on the opposite.  This is used often in hypnosis when we use suggestions that replace negative beliefs with positive ones.

The Law of Correspondence

  • This Universal Law states that the principles or laws of physics that explain the physical world – energy, Light, vibration, and motion – have their corresponding principles in the etheric or universe. In the Emerald Tablet of Hermes expresses this Law as "as above, so below." "The macrocosm is contained in the microcosm." 
  • This Law places us in the drivers’ seat of our own life. Your outer world will be a direct reflection of your inner world, accepting responsibility for your life. This law takes us out of the victim role making us the sole creator of our own life.

 The Law of Relativity

  • Relativity is the relationship of all things understood by the person relating to it. It all depends on your perspective. As the viewpoint shifts, the relative relationship also shifts. Or, put simply, if you look in another direction, you have a different view.
  • This law teaches us to put everything into its proper perspective. No matter how bad we perceive our situation to be, there is always someone who is in a worse position. It is all relative. Often when you change your perspective, you change your mind and that may just change your life.
  • Each of us will receive a series of situations to strengthen the energy within us. This law gives us the ability to stay connected to our hearts when proceeding to solve the situations. This law also teaches us that if we compare our problems to other peoples’ problems it will place everything into its proper perspective. No matter how bad we perceive our situation, there is always someone who is in a more difficult position, making it all relative.

The 21 Sub- Laws

The 21 sub-laws are actually human characteristics that relate to the Universal Laws. These characteristics are:

  • (1.) Aspiration to A Higher Power (2.) Charity (3.) Compassion (4.) Courage (5.) Dedication (6.) Faith (7.) Forgiveness (8.) Generosity (9.) Grace (10.) Honesty (11.) Hope (12.) Joy (13.) Kindness (14.) Leadership (15.) Non-interference (16.) Patience (17.) Praise (18.) Responsibility (19.) Self-Love (20.) Thankfulness (21.) Unconditional Love

The Creative Process

Practising on Purpose

Affirmations are just one practicing tool and one part of your creative process practice. To create and manifest fast and often, the full process needs to be embodied fully and practiced daily.

This isn’t something to panic about and is very easy. Below the process has been broken down and explained in a way that enables me to make sure I have covered all bases when manifesting.

It’s simple “just remember your P’s when you say PLEASE” to the universe.







Our cupboards have to be empty before we can fill them with lovely things. Our bodies, mind and cells need to be the same. The release, cleansing, and forgiving process is the key. Whether it be a belief from our teenage years or a guilt from a past life we need to solve and dissolve all negative issues and attachments to be clean and clear for positive and quick creation and manifestation in this life time.

How are your bank accounts, debt repayment schemes and savings at the moment?  To make money we need to be at ease with it. So clean up your finances and get everything in order. With debts taken care of and repayment plans and financial budgets set up you are then cleansed of those thoughts and worries and can focus on positivity. Never t ry to affirm or cosmic order from a place of fear or lack - Your intention and subconscious will attract fear and lack no matter what you say or how loud you shout it. Do not lie to yourself either, be pure and honest with where you are at and work upwards from that. When I started this work I had to eat lots of toast and walk everywhere to get my money in order. In 7 months I manifested over 70 grand! But I started with nothing, I was even sleeping on the floor. Don’t let pride get in the way. Start with truth and the truth will work with you and fast. 


Looking after our mind, body and spirit is a must. We must nurture the physical body with good food, exercise and habits. Are you ignoring your pain by emotionally eating, drinking or doing drugs? This is not protecting yourself, listening to our feelings and honouring them enables us to feel safe and is an act of self-love and personal respect.

We also need to protect our spiritual health with regular cleansing habits that purify us internally and deflect negativity of ALL kinds. We can all protect our personal energy fields with Divine White Light.

Not everyone is nice, people will put you down, I have even known others to cast spells and affirm bad rather than good. We do not want to entertain this behaviour or react to it and give it or those people our energy. What we must do is keep our power and protect our own energy. 

What othe r people think or do is none of your business. Focus on your own divine protection and although you should always treat others how you wish to be treated do not mistake this with going against your own integrity. You should always out yourself first.


Clean it all up and prepare for the good. Preparation is your start to thinking about what good things you wish to fill up your cupboards with. At this stage you are cleansed and you have created the vacuum for your good. Like a good host it is time to prepare for the guest and await their arrival, fully prepared with the correct preparations and activities done.

What are you looking to manifest within money and abundance for example - Literally prepare for that experience. Make space in the garage for the car, get the clothes ready for the new job. Look, act and feel like a millionaire. Make sure your purifying processes for abundance are working smoothly too.


Whether it be release, forgiveness, affirmations or the process of defining your wishes with cosmic ordering, dream boards or the wheel of fortune, creating your shopping list is one thing, the process is all about creating the energy to manifest. Practice your processes, to whip up the pure potential energy around you and get it to create the form and experience of your desires.

As we now know we have to focus our whole being on a desired outcome to see it manifest in our reality.  We have to consciously remove any fear or doubt that may cause limitation and send focused positivity to the outcome. When we truly accept that we are a part of this divine intelligence that is everywhere at all times then we truly know that we just have to ask to receive our good.

There are many things that we can do to keep ourselves in unity with our own Divine Intelligence and Wholeness.  

Wholeness is a word used a lot in this type of work. It is explained in many ways. In my own research and search for my own peace I now think of it like this. We are connected to all things as we are all energy. When we have a negative fear or belief we are feeling or thinking in a way that makes us feel separated from this truth. We also have many parts of our character, memories and sense of self, some good, some bad. To experience all part of ourself and be whole we need to allow ourself to love and accept each part of whom we are.

Remember the law always works. If you don’t like your current effects you need to go back to its cause and change. One of the first steps of this is to accept all our negatives such as our jealousy, envy and the act of selfishness. We are human, so many of us get involved in spiritual work and then place so much pressure on themselves on being perfect and having only kind thoughts. Ignoring these feelings does not stop  them they  will just boil inside us and manifest as fears in many ways. We can get very clever in hiding them and kidding ourselves. We must make peace with our fears and accept our shadows. We have nothing to protect and nothing to hide.

Staying true to our real feelings and learning to deliberately focus our positive thoughts can be done via many methods including that which are listed.

Remember the law:

Thought + Allowance = Manifestation

We can use this law to create but remember it always works, it reflects your inner being. If you don’t like the effect we can use the following processes to change the vibration and belief system that is the cause. I know we are repeating ourselves a bit here but it is such a important part of the work.

Your Mind Consciousness -  Be aware of any lack, guilt or fear vibrations!

The way we communicate, think and react creates our reality. Our feelings enable us to understand what we need to heal, understand and/or step away from. Fire hurts so we do not run towards it, but if a relationship hurts us why do we keep running towards that person. As we watch and feel ourselves more closely we can become more aware of actions like this that we may not even be aware of. We do this through close awareness of our

  • Thoughts
  • Emotions
  • Words
  • Actions

Our mind can create havoc with us. Do you currently spend more time in your mind than living in reality? Do you spend time in your thoughts dreaming of possible outcomes but are fearful of taking action that could make it happen. Do you spend time imagining the worst case scenario in your mind, do you spend time imagining what people are thinking or feeling or what they will do next? This is not a positive use of visualisation. What you are doing here is powerfully projecting your emotions and thoughts out to the universe but as it comes from fear and lack you will be either blocking the outcome you desire or actually creating the worst case scenario you are dreading. Remember your thoughts become things.

I did this for a very very long time. Decide today to stop these stories in your mind. Decide today to live only in your reality. Decide today to allow yourself to really feel how your reality makes you feel. Decide to get to know the full you. This is the only way we can really become “whole”. This “wholeness” is about accepting every part of who you are and loving it. Own your inner bitch, your inner cry baby, your inner jealous green eyed monster. All these emotions and feelings are there to guide you. We can re-teach ourselves to use these feelings to reveal to us what we truly desire or need to step away from. It is time to love our “negative emotions” they are their to protect us. Decide today to love them and love every part of you. You are bloody wonderful!

Allowance, Acceptance & Belief -  Are you thinking rich or believing in lack?

The awareness that we will gain from closely following our emotional and reactive behaviour will lead us to have more of a understanding of the below list. We can then look at healing our personal issues and hurts. 

Limiting Beliefs - Both Conscious & Sub-Conscious - You do not deserve it, your not worth paying more, you come from a poor family, rich people are bad, spiritual people are always poor, rich happens to other people.

Forgiveness - Forgive yourself, those that taught you negative beliefs, forgive your past, parents & family. Forgive your past life experiences, your worries for the future.  Business issues are often related to father issues, I found out recently. Heal those pains and watch your abundance and business flourish.

Gratitude -  Be thankful for what you have experienced and what you have got already so that the universe knows you would be happy with more.

Release -  let go of old beliefs, fears, guilt & attachments. Let go of stuff, energy and people that are not serving your highest good.

Manifestation Tools - It’s not only Affirmations you can use to focus your intent, below is a full list of everything that I personally use within my own life and work. 

  • Spiritual Mind Treatment
  • The Wheel of Fortune / Vision Boards
  • Meditation & Mindfulness Training
  • Visioning /  Visualisation
  • The Ikigai Exercise
  • The Vacuum Law - Making space for the new. Mentally, emotionally and physically.
  • Affirmations and Mantra Power - I love my Anstey audio affirmation collection.
  • My Anstey Affirmation Scarfs 
  • Listening to your Intuition. Understanding what it truly is and what its meant for.
  • Loving your feelings and emotions, honouring them by understanding them and acting in a way that always keeps your feelings safe. Fears can be dissolved but we need to understand where they come from, and keep ourself safe as we release them. 

Delays are not denials when working with the creative process. When we feel we have done all we can but are still experiencing blocks I have found in my personal experience that it is important to investigate “attachments”. One or more of the following list may be attached to us physically, or lay deep within us as a belief system or fear from any life time we have experienced.

I have had to have both a curse, demon, past life issue and entity removed and resolved. This all happened in the later part of 2013 when I was deep, deep into my own clearing and cleansing processes. This may never be needed to be looked at on your personal journey and is extreme, but as I develop my work I am finding that many people experience great personal shifts when these types of “weird” attachments are removed. Now I say weird as let’s be honest this seems nuts. I never ever wanted to believe in any of it but it happened to me so I have to share. I cannot deny this experience or the changes after these attachments where removed.

A list of the various types or Attachments    

1. Earth bound spirits, ghosts, lost souls
2. Thought forms
3. Negative energy and psychic attack
4. Curses, cords, vows and contracts
5. Past life attachments and ancestral patterns
6. Inner child fragments and soul retrieval
7. Satanic influences, dark force, demons and the collective unconscious
8. Programmes, mind control programmes and Implants
9. Entities and Clusters
10. ET's & More Implants
11. Elementals
12. Earth Energies

Understanding attachments and their power can mean not only accepting spirits and the after life, but also weird stuff from other realms and evil. Let’s be honest, this is way out there! It’s not the stuff you share over a glass of wine with your “bestie”. Many people find it hard to accept that there is stuff like this out there. I had no idea about it until I became stuck and so frustrated that my instincts told me something outside myself was involved. I believe that all bad is created from fear, exactly like our own fears that create our negative experiences. Once we deal with fear we can change outcomes. I very much believe that this can be done with any of the attachments listed. 

I personally had a number 2,3,4,7 and 9 that I had to deal with in 2013. Remember the stories that I had been creating in my head for years - these created negative energy blocks that where then subsequently dissolved. It is a odd subject to think about, but this is how it was explained to me at this time and  since been this “stuff” has been removed my life experience has been very positive. As science and knowledge grows I hope to be able to present more evidence and information to you on these subjects as I do find them fascinating.

For further information on my past and current teachers please go to here


Act like you already have it, live it in the now until it physically manifests in front of your eyes. Remember if you can think of it, it already DOES exist, it is a thought energy so all you now need to do is bring it into your vision as form. Be present for your PRESENT from the universe.

Trust that your good is coming. Do not try to create exact outcomes, know that divine substance is creating the very best for you. Expectations lead to disappointments, instead know what you deserve and allow the universe to decide the flow and form.





What actually is an Affirmation

An affirmation is a positive statement designed to counteract a negative belief that you possess. 

Did you know that you can use your thoughts, feelings and the words you speak to change negative beliefs and behaviour patterns within your life and create a more positive outlook and reality. 

If you change your thoughts you can change your life - It really is that simple

The mind is a powerful thing but changing your mind by using affirmations is really quite simple. This is how it all works. You see the subconscious mind does not discriminate. This part of your heart and soul accepts whatever the conscious mind sends it via your thoughts and feelings.

This means that we can train ourselves to use our conscious mind to change a core belief  - a core belief is a belief that is deep routed into your subconscious, you may not even know that you have it until you try and achieve something and do not get the results you desire. By changing your core belief you can change the negative results into positive ones.
The subconscious mind will simply accept any new strong intention that you send it and over time believes it as your new truth.  We can do this by deliberately thinking, speaking and feeling the belief or reality we are trying to achieve. When we repeat our desired outcome over and over we call it an affirmation. In time the new belief will become real and the old one will dissolve.
Knowing that you’re amazing, feeling beautiful or having confidence may not be something that you have at the moment but the good news is that by simply repeating and affirming statements that affirm your chosen outcome we can attract the results you desire and deserve

I like to say our affirmations and quotes over and over again throughout the day. Life can be fast and it's not always possible to stay focused and remember to affirm your truth. This is why I started placing affirmations and quotes on my clothes, it helped remind me constantly.
I have created affirmations for all areas of my life and I also use quotes that have inspired me too. I find that quotes often enable me to think about my own self and give more insight and inspirational understanding on a topic. 

It is important for me to make sure that youreally know inside that you are your best teacher. You will know in your gut what affirmations or teachings resonate with you, trust yourself. And may the information you receive from me, and the world around you guide you into the fabulous life that you deserve.

I create my own audio affirmations and listen to them in my car, I also have art work around my home. These are now all available for you to use too.

Confused: Interrogate & Find Your Answers

Thinking that you have found the one feels amazing, when you are falling in love the world around you is sweet and you can take on the world. Finding out that you are the only one that feels this within a relationship can come like a shock. How can something that you thought was going so right go so wrong? 

Whether your lover ran off with your best mate, dumped you by text or did the ‘It’s not you its me’ line it all feels the same, bloody confusing.
Some may get the final conversation that they needed for closure and for others this love disappears into the night as they crumble with the bereavement its death leaves behind. For me I just didn’t get it, how did I not sense his lies, how did I not realise so many things. How the heck did I fall for someone like that? Confusion then frustration back
to confusion to dumb founded, my emotions would swing round and around making me so dizzy I felt sick for months. 

Whilst in my search for sanity I took many classes and courses to help me find my balance. I learnt about a technique involving non-dominant handwriting. Basically you ask questions with the hand you normally write with and write the answers with the other, for most this would be the left hand. This technique is amazing for releasing pain, understanding how situations happened and getting closure. 

This exercise allowed for me to ask my ex the questions I didn’t understand without even having to see him again. We all have wisdom deep inside, we all know what is best for us but sometimes we choose to ignore it. This exercise enables us to reveal the answers within us that we already know. We don’t actually need to ask our ex, a total relief and revelation; we already have everything we need. 

It may not feel like it right now but there is a reason for this break up. For mine my ex just wasn’t the right one for me, I deserve truth and honesty and that’s why it ended. Not because I am ugly, fat or a loser. The universe and I know that I can have better so the break up was created. I believe that there is a greater good out there, I have no exact idea of what it is but I just know that even the tough stuff is happening for a reason and it all leads to better things, people and relationships. I now trust this process of life. Do you? 

We often ignore warning signs early on in a relationship because we so desperately want to be loved. Our fear of rejection takes over and our conscious mind (the part that we think and talk with) chooses to ignore our unconscious (the instinctual feelings we have that warns us when something isn’t right). Do you ever remember a time when you ex did or said something that made your tummy pinch? That was your gut instinct warning you, did you take this warning on board? Did you listen to what it was telling you or did you carry on as if nothing has happened? Did you do what so many of us do and create yourself a fake reality where everything was perfect as you was so desperate to be loved and be in love. 

The more we ignore the bigger height we have to fall when the sh*t hits the fan. It is now time for you to listen. This exercise allows us to communicate with this inner wisdom by writing with our left and right hands. To understand the exercise properly we need to understand the conscious mind and the unconscious mind, this is discussed further on in this piece. Once you have answered all the questions and feel a sense of accomplishment of what you have done leave them for a few minutes and them come back to your papers and read over them all. 

You may even want to make notes with what you have realised, you may realise that you have some hidden beliefs you need to work on. This exercise made me exhausted as I found that it released lots of emotions and pain that I had ignored for a long time. Emotions and pain from my school days – it had nothing to do with this relationship but it had affected my confidence. If you feel exhausted too it is quite normal just drink plenty of water to keep you hydrated. 

In this exercise your dominant writing hand represents your conscious mind. The conscious mind includes everything that is inside our awareness. This includes things such as sensations, perceptions, memories and our feelings. 

‘Consciousness is subjective experience or awareness or wakefulness or the executive control system of the mind’ according to the dictionary and other names or terms for it include the subjective mind.’ 

Your non-dominant hand represents your unconscious mind. It is the unconscious mind that makes us work without us having to think about it. We are made up of millions of little pieces that all work in unison keeping us breathing, walking and even typing on a keyboard. Imagine if you had to remember everything, you would be exhausted, that is why it is all kept silently within us in our subconscious mind. It is also a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that are outside of our conscious awareness. Most of the contents of the unconscious are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict. The unconscious continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influences. It is the voice or feeling you feel in your body and can’t explain, it is your voice of reason and our biggest teacher. Other names or terms include inner child, your gut instinct, essential nature, inner self, soul, spirit, spirituality, true being. 

I feel that it is important to share the basics of the conscious and the subconscious mind so that you can understand why doing this exercise would help you. You will find that many people talk about these two parts of our mind and call them different names such as they ones I have mentioned. We all have the answers we need deep inside, our subconscious can unlock the key to so many situations and emotions. It knows so much that we don’t even need to ask the questions to the person we want the answers from, it enables us to work it out ourselves and that is simply quite beautiful. 


Find a quiet place to be alone and take a paper and pen with you. Relax and focus on what it is you want to know about your break up. What is it you want to ask your ex? Many of these questions you may feel to embarrassed to say face to face but here you have the perfect chance. 

Write down all your questions, keep going until you have exhausted yourself of them for this moment in time. Use your dominant hand (the one you always write with). 

Once you have finished writing all your questions place your pen in your less dominant hand and one by one go down your list and answer them. You may find that you write pages and pages for a question so start each answer on a new piece of paper allowing for total freedom with your flow. Please don’t think about what you are writing, don’t worry about what it looks like, just keep it coming. Write and write and write. I did this on the train once and the lady next to me was trying to work out what the hell I was doing. It is no ones business just yours and no one will ever see this so keep going until it is all out of your system.
The answers you get will be quite profound, they may make you cry and the answers you get from deep inside may not be what you was expecting or desire. Trust your gut, know that this is your truth and if you follow it you will get to exactly where you are meant to me. 

It is hard to hear that we didn’t listen to our own warning signs, it is hard to know the truth, it is hard to know that the man we thought was our soul mate was clearly here to teach us a lesson but in time you will understand why and this exercises really does help. Whatever answers you get, know that growth is good. Growing pains do suck but they will melt away eventually. 

Anger: For when you want to kick the sh*t out of them

I actually discovered this exercise from a Louise Hay video. After 2 days in bed crying I decided enough was enough and I watched this video to help me get out of my “I want to die” depression. Louise spoke about an exercise in which you punched all your anger and energy into a pillow. It was a release exercise to get rid of negative emotions that can cause us to hold onto the past and create disease within our bodies. It took me over 2 weeks to take action and to actually punch some pillows, and this was only after I had punched a wall and kicked in the front of my favourite stilettos. - I do not even know why I was wearing such shoes as I hadn’t actually left the house but a lot of strange things happened in this dark period that I have no answers for. 

I only mention this because I do not want you to wait that long, the quicker you start this anger release exercise the quicker you will feel better - whatever the current result or state of your love life. 

This may feel like one of those wacko hippy exercises at first especially if you haven’t ever read any kind of personal growth stuff before but it is more effective than hitting walls and it keeps your hands and your shoes safe. 

Find yourself some cushions, I find that the best place for this exercise is your bedroom as you are able to be alone and shut the rest of the world out. The bedroom also holds the memories of passion with your partner and this can cause even more emotion to erupt. This is good as we want to get it revealed and get it out as anger and distress do all kind of crazy stuff to our body and make our mind feel mad as our heart feels broken. Kneel on your bed, grab your cushions and start to punch them. Keep punching them until you are exhausted. Thoughts and memories may enter your head when you are punching, just let them flow from you and leave you’re being, you can imagine these cushions to be anyone or anything you need them to be. Talk to these cushions, shout at them, ask them why, in fact ask them all the questions you need to. You don’t even need to make sense. Allow your anger to flow out of you and whack the crap out of these cushions until you can’t whack any more. 

Your body will feel tingly. You will feel alive, and you will feel stress free and connected to yourself in a way that is really hard to explain without sounding a bit random, but once you try this you will totally know what I mean. 

Anger can lie dormant deep inside us, it sits in our tummies waiting for a totally inappropriate moment to ignite into a outburst that gets us into all kinds of trouble and causes us to behave in ways that can hurt us even more. Do this exercise as often as you need to. I would do it at least once a day for a couple of weeks and then whenever you feel sad, angry or slightly mad. 

You may find that memories of your childhood or experiences unrelated to this break up come into your mind during this exercise. This is good so just let it happen. All of our experiences make us whom we are today – if something needs to be released let it, it can only be of benefit to you. 

Our emotions are important. Notice them, accept them and move through them. You will feel angry inside until you actually express it outwardly from your body, just because you have pushed it to one side or tried to forget about it doesn’t mean that it is gone. Anyone that tells you to deny your emotions in any kind of way is a fool. Yes if you study yourself for years and work on a deep spiritual level you may be able to avoid experiencing anger but if you do experience anger in any shape or form it cannot be denied. 

Love your anger. Know why you are angry. 

You can only lose something once you own it. So own it, experience it in your own controlled environment where it can hurt no one and then let it go. 

Destructive Behaviour: Right Now Is The Perfect Moment

Whenever your mind goes off and thinks about the bad stuff of the past or your worries of the future you need to change your mind and deliberately think about the now. 

The key is to think about your life in that exact moment. Not what happened this morning and not what will happen yesterday. 

Take a deep breath and write down anything that you don’t like about yourself right now – if you find yourself writing about the future or the past STOP - it doesn’t exist. 

This exercise is a great way of starting to train your brain to live in the here and now, and you may get some new revelations. 

I found that this was a great exercise to do at my desk when having a desperate emotional moment. I could write it all down in an email and then delete it. 

It was a great way to vent and although I often found myself hating myself in my writings it was a great release for me. The more I did this exercise the more the self hating stopped, eventually I was writing about good things and you will do – We just need to get the negativity out first. 

The thing to remember is that all of our emotions are important, the good and the bad – it is just about learning the techniques that will enable you to manage them, understand them and banish the ones that do not nourish us. 

Pain - Heal The Pain Of A Break Up With The Pain Pages

Regret, sadness, resentment, relief, loss, grief, a mixture of emotions so huge I have created a book out of them.
Whatever emotion you are feeling right now or were feeling a few hours ago will be causing you pain in some shape or form. It could be physical pain, emotional pain or both. The term heartache is very apt as it is not unheard of for our heart to feel like it is physically aching when we go through a break up. For me I lost a huge amount of weight in a few days, my heart ached and my belly hurt. The feeling was so deep I really did feel that it would be easier to go asleep and not wake up. I remember having moments where I would actually understand how and why old lady’s can die a few days after their husbands; I would then cry some more as it was highly unlikely that I would ever have a husband to die for. The pain made me very dramatic. 

Pain is sh*t, it is not a nice experience and it feels even worse when it has the bitter taste of a break up attached to it. So the question is how do you stop this pain?
The funny thing about pain is that it is usually pointing to something that you need to heal or look at within your life.
My man had treated me like a fool and lied to me about some pretty serious stuff. Morally I knew what he had done was wrong and that he was weak, but I was weak too as without him I didn’t think I was complete. I didn’t think I could be happy. And most importantly to me at the time I wasn’t like everyone else my age without him at my side. I needed him for all the wrong reasons, reasons I needed to become aware of and heal for myself. What is your pain telling you?
I found it hard to listen to my pain at first. It just hurt too much, but the more I tried the more I began to understand it and with that it faded slightly.
Now this may seem a little weird to you but pain is always telling us something and we owe it to ourselves to listen. A great way I found to do this was with the following silent listening and writing exercise.

Find a quiet spot, sit quietly, close your eyes and turn off all distractions like your phone or the Internet.
Take a few moments to quiet yourself by breathing deeply into your tummy. If thoughts come to you acknowledge them and let them float away like clouds and bring your attention back to your breathing. 

When you feel relaxed move your attention to your heart and breathe into the heartbreak. Just allow yourself to fully pay attention to this area of your body and the pain of your broken heart. Do not have any judgment just breathe and listen. 

The aim is to be totally focused on yourself and how your heart is feeling, as thoughts start to enter your head, pick up your pen and paper and start writing these thoughts down. You may stop and start and go back to breathing and focusing on your heart in between or you may find you start writing and can’t stop for ages. Get it all out. This really is about what works for you. You don’t need to worry about what it looks like or even think about what you are writing just get it out. 

Write down what the pain of your heart is saying to you. Don’t question it – Let it flow out. You can read it a little later; at this point it is only important to focus on listening to what the pain is telling you and to keep the writing flowing.
Keep going until you have exhausted yourself of your thoughts and writing. There is no time frame on this; you will know when the time feels right. Do not do yourself a disservice by stopping too soon. You deserve to give yourself this time and healing. 

Relax and breathe for a few moments once you have decided to stop and when you feel completely back in the room take a few minutes to grab yourself a glass of water and refresh yourself. 

Once you have drunk your water take your writing and read over it. Drinking the water is more of a distraction to break your state to be honest – drink whatever you wish, go to the toilet, have a fag, do whatever you need to do before you sit down and read through your Pain Pages. 

Now it is time to read over your Pain Pages. As you read do not judge yourself just think about what you can learn and what you have realised.
Once read it is time to let this pain go, place it in your House of Pain box (another MendMaker exercise within this category) and know that it is out
of your system. If you haven’t created a pain box you can destroy this pain by stamping on it, tearing it into tiny pieces and then throwing it away.
This exercise is great, I found myself doing it on train rides and all sorts. It allows for an immediate deep release of your hurt. We should never deny ourselves our pain. We can only experience true heartbreak pain because we have experienced true love. The more you do this exercise the more you learn about yourself. This exercise helped me feel dramatically different in a short space of time. I realized that I had beliefs about myself from childhood that had been affecting my choices in relationships. This exercise helped me grow strong and confident and I now know that in my next relationship I would not settle for anything less than a respectful and kind partner. 

Quotes: For When You Can't Let Go

“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.” – Lao Tzu

“One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.” – Elizabeth Aston

“The truth may hurt for a little while but a lie hurts forever.” – Anstey

“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt” – Thomas Merton

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” ― Albert Einstein

Single & On Own: Partner Replacement Get Others To Do What They Used To

Losing someone you love is shit. It feels shit because you love them, they maybe didn’t love you enough and left or died, you miss them and let’s be honest they did stuff for you and not having them there is extremely inconvenient. 

How the hell are you meant to change a light bulb? Who will do your tie in the morning? And who will now take the bins out on a Wednesday night? Whether you have been with someone 20 days or 20 years it is hard to adjust once they are gone. They did things for you and it made you feel good. It gave you comfort, attention and sometimes you just didn’t know how to do something and they did. When it comes to the things that we do for each other in relationships we get into patterns and both parties take on certain duties or roles. When you’re feeling down and something breaks or you burn your dinner you are then reminded that you are only 50% of what you once was and you feel that all that is left behind is the useless 50% and that you just can’t cope without them.
This is of course totally untrue but at that moment you reside yourself that you will be eating burnt dinners on your own and in the dark forever. 

I held on to my childhood sweet heart for years after we broke up. We loved each other deeply but for 1000 reasons it just wasn’t right for us to get back together but I couldn’t let him go. It was too hard for us to be friends and hang out together. Every 6 months we would try again but it would go wrong as we loved each other but we wasn’t ‘IN’ love with each other anymore, but when I needed anything he was the first person I called. I called him when my car broke down, when my Nan was ill, I called him from the toilet of my friends house when I had got drunk and woke up with a man my bed. He was always there for me and I needed him. When he took his own life it turned me upside down, it changed my life forever as not only was he gone, for the first time since I was 17 I was alone. 

The following exercise I did to help me get over this sense of loss and I feel that whether you lose someone in a break up or through death the sense of grief and loss is very much the same. This exercise helped me realise that I wasn’t alone, I realised how new people had started to enter my life that were taking over the roles that were once Aarons. Three months before Aaron died I met my friend Andy D and he became the man in my life that I would share my heartache with, just like I had done with Aaron. I had also found Tyson my NLP teacher that became the wisdom that Aaron used to give me, my university friend Lee came and did all my DIY and my brother took many of Aarons roles, to many for me to list and I will never forget his kindness. 

For the context of this book we are using this exercise to look at what your partner did for you and what you just can’t do by yourself since they have gone. You will then look at whom has taken over this role already and/or whom you can ask to help you. Yes I agree having your brother change your spare tyre and get hot sweaty and covered in oil is not quite the same as watching your sexy man do it but it gets the job done fast and takes the edge of you feeling lonely and destitute. 

Copy the heading from the below list and start by writing out everything that your partner did for you that you miss and that you can’t do without them then answer column two or three depending on what fits best. You will be surprised how many people in your life have taken on these roles within your life.

OK so yes I understand that this exercise won’t bring your partner back and that’s what you want right now but do look at your list and try to feel loved in some way. All these people are around you because they love you and care about you. They will make sure that you don’t have many more dinners for one in the dark. It is important that you remember that they are there for you and do not be shy in asking for their help and company, after all I am sure you wasn’t shy at nagging your partner to take out the bins was you. 

Anger: For When You Feel Out Of Control & Need To Be Reminded Of The Consequences Of A Public Outburst

“When anger rises, think of the consequences”" - Confucius

Confucius was a Chinese philosopher who was born in 551 BCE. Confucius had a theory on “beautiful conduct.” He thought that if everyone could achieve “beautiful conduct,” or what he considered correct behavior our world could become perfect. This involved avoiding all extreme actions and emotions, being considerate to others, respecting family, and worshiping ancestors.
Now I am not too sure about worshiping your ancestors, although popping round to see your Nan and Uncle Mo once in a while won’t do you any ha. But, his talk of avoiding all extreme actions whilst hurting is definitely a good thing. 

When we feel hurt by others or they do stuff to us like lie, cheat, and then cheat some more we seem to turn into a thing possessed when we see them next. We tell them that we want them to die; we shout out loud that their mother stinks and scream at them that we hope their secret love child gets burned at the stake. 

Your personal thoughts on what you want to say to your ex may of course be a little less spiteful or maybe a hell of a lot worse. Whatever you feel you need to say to them right now is your business but I have one question. Why do you need to make it the business of anyone else including your ex? 

What you need to do is ask yourself this – Is this really how you want to represent yourself? Is this the final last word that you want the love of your life to hear and remember you by? 

We all do and say crazy irrational things when we are hurting, we want to hurt the other person as much as we hurt at that moment. BUT how will your touretted tirade make them go “oh yeah my mother does stink thank you for reminding me, I have missed your words of wisdom so much, shall we go to Paris this weekend and make up, I love you so much you are just so kind and lovable. I have been such a fool dumping you.” 

If you can think of 3 reasons of how this course of action would set you up to reunite I will eat every copy of this book ever printed page by page. 

The hate and hurt that causes your thoughts and bouts of nasty name calling does need to get out your system though. The key is to release them at the correct moment and definitely not in front of the person you are in love with. I advise you to go to the scream and or cushion exercise immediately when you feel these feelings bubble and then once the emotional energy is released we can do a little exercise to re connect you with your rational self as believe it or not it still does exist. Please see “scream it all out” and kick the sh8t out of them” in the Anger MendMaker Section for the perfect exercise. 

Inside you have this infinite wisdom, it just knows what’s right for you and what feels good, it’s just unfortunate that this ba*tard called fear gets the way of it most of the time. This exercise is a bit of a devil’s advocate but the questions and your answers will allow you to reconnect to this wisdom. You have it I promise. You may feel like a dumb ass failure or a heartbroken lonely freak at this moment in time but trust in me when I say that ARE a beautiful piece of wisdom. 


Grab yourself a piece of paper and a pen. The following exercise is about getting control over that irrational mind that is about to explode. 

1: To start write down at least 10 reasons why getting angry with them would make them love you and want you back. Write down what you would say and underneath write how this would make them love you again. Just let it all flow until you can’t think of anything else to write. You may struggle to do 10 and do only 3, you may do none or even 43. What you come up with is right for you. Just make sure you are honest with what you truly feel at the moment. Then sit back take 5 and then look over your answers. 

2: Now if you couldn’t really think of any reasons of why it is good to have a outburst your wisdom has started to kick in, if you did then go over your questions one by one and ask yourself again if your statement or begging outburst would really cause them to regret loosing you and want them to desperately fall back into your arms. To get love you have to give love so if your going to get angry with someone you don’t need to be a genius to work out what you will get in return. Now this statement doesn’t mean that you can sleep with your ex giving them the best “love” of their life. A quick shag with the ex is not love, it is just sex, do not get the two confused, you will only get hurt more. 

Also think about this, do you really want to be with someone whom gives in and gets back with you just because you harassed them and threatened to go on hunger strike if they didn’t move back in with you? Throwing threats, guilt, money and sex at someone to win them back is not what you deserve and if you do think it’s what you deserve don’t panic about these thoughts as we deal with your self esteem in this book to. 

3: With the first part of the exercise done it is now time to take a fresh look at the possible reactions to your actions and outbursts with a new list. Write down 50 reasons why you should not scream and shout at them. What would be the consequences? This list is extensive but do complete 50. 

It may be hard but you will get there, this is about exhausting yourself with your answers. In the punching exercises you exhaust yourself until the energetic anger inside you is worn away, in the same way this exercise exhausts your irrational behavior and gets your wisdom strong again so that you don’t send that crazy death threat texts that will enable your ex to go “ see that’s why I dumped you, your nuts”. 

4: Read your lists once over, destroy them and breathe deep as you know the moment has past and you for now at least not have to deal with your consequences as you haven’t created any. 

You have done well. Claim your prize, be brave and although you may be nowhere near ready to find someone new smile at the next hot stranger you see and feel good as they acknowledge your wisdom and beauty. 

Destructive Behaviour: Take Control

Don’t place your future in someone else’s hands. Your future is yours to shape. Take control.
So you got dumped. It’s crap. You feel crap and dealing with this rejection does hurt. But for how long are you going to blame this other person. For how long do you wish to stay in this sorry for yourself state. 

It is up to us to create our own destiny. 

A few months after the break up from my fiancé, 2 days after my younger brother got engaged and 1 day after I had been to a friend’s wedding I was at home drinking red wine on a Saturday night watching Bridget Jones. It was during the famous scene were Bridget is in dodgy pajamas, drunk and singing the epic tragic love song “ I can’t live if living is without you” that I looked at my parents and drunkenly said ‘the only difference between me and Bridget Jones is that I am currently living with my parents. 

The tragedy of it all... 

I felt so depressed, I felt so fat as I was eating crap all the time and I was getting so annoyed at myself for getting drunk on bottles of red whilst at home alone, well alone with my parents. I felt like a tragic love story, and my character was even sadder than Bridget Jones. How the heck did that happen I used to think to myself. 

And then I realised, it happened because I had let it happen. 

Feeling down and blue when all your hopes and dreams have been smashed is normal and part of the process but getting smashed will not make the answers to your happiness come any quicker. 

So many of us reach for a glass of wine and/or a cigarette when we are feeling down. Our society and social circles have encouraged us to relate feeling better with feeling pissed or high. Self- medication with food, alcohol or drugs will only blot out your emotions for a short time. When you sober up your reality will flood back and you feel lower than you did before. This is because alcohol and drugs are depressants. Food may fill the emotional hole in our tummy when we are feeling down but it will leave behind roles of fat that will make you feel unattractive and down hearted with your single status. 

This exercise is a little different to the exercises in the rest as it is more about changing your behavior long term rather than a short sharp kick up the butt that makes you feel better. 

When we use drink, drugs and food to feed our negative emotions rather than deal with them we have lost control. This MendMaker is about gaining back the control of yourself and your life. Once I got rid of these emotional emphasizers it became easier to move towards positivity, as my mind was clear. 

Gaining emotional control in general will also enable you to have the skills to work through any low moments when they sneak up on you in the future. 

You have enough stuff causing you sadness at the moment you don’t need to add to it by doing stupid things whilst drunk or not remember huge chunks of a night out because you were high. And who is going to fancy you when you act like that anyway? 

Drunk, fat and high is not cute, sexy or charming. You want to feel happy and this exercise shows you how to take the first steps towards emotional control. I want to make sure that you do not become another tragic Bridget Jones. 

It is time for you to get positive about you, no more sorry for yourself states allowed. You are going to help yourself massively by banning the negative crap you throw down your neck and into our soul. 

This exercise is in 2 parts. It is the start of the new you – A person in control and respectful of their mind and body’s health. 

Part 1: Give up the booze & drugs

When wine has become your only company on a Friday night the idea of stopping it completely feels really weird but you can do it. The reason I decided to go on a detox is because I wanted to have complete control over my life. Every time I got drunk I would feel so paranoid about what I said or how I had acted as had lost huge sections of the night. And as for drugs they are always going to be wrong. Being dumped made me feel so rejected so feeling like a social drunk loser after a public drink was not helping. With my emotions all over the place red wine was making me more depressed, I drunk it to forget but would wake up full of regret. Once I stopped I felt so much better. A good way to start this is to stop drinking in public first and then stop at home. I am not Bridget Jones and nor are you. Do you ever fancy the drunken mash head in the corner? Didn’t think so, so lets lose this behavior before it becomes a habit. 

Part 2: Get your balanced diet back on track

Eating crap will make you fat, unhealthy and feel nasty. Cleansing your body with a detox is a great way to get back into a more positive way of thinking and feeling. If you don’t care and love your body who else will? By taking care of ourselves we show others what we expect and get respect in return. This is not about you going on a cabbage diet and getting as skinny as a super model this is about you nourishing your body so that you can nourish your soul. My advice would be to start a 7-day detox plan that ties in with the booze ban and then move on into healthy eating. There are loads of plans on the Internet and books a plenty. There are some supermarket websites that offer healthy eating plans and shopping advice that can be organized around your budget, this is just perfect for those with hectic lifestyles. 

With the break up behind you it is now time to start looking forward. Show yourself that you love yourself and care for yourself by feeding yourself the health that you deserve. A good diet gets our digestive system moving, we feel light and energized and this immediately allows for a positive attitude and the feeling of a fresh start and new life. 

Isolated: Go For A Walk In Nature & Make Angels In The Snow

Busy cities are often the loneliness places on earth. Right now your mind may feel manic like New York but your heart feels desperately isolated and alone. The best way I found to clear my head and feel part of life again was to go and get some green, and I am not talking about smoking the stuff. I am talking about the beautiful countryside that Mother Nature gave us. 

A jog in your local city park or a hike in the countryside, the choice is yours. The idea is quite simple just get out, get some fresh air in your lungs and feel part of the miracle that is Mother Nature. 

Have you ever made angels in the snow? Go outside and make grass angels. I discovered this whilst I was out jogging. I was trying to jog out my heartache when I just fell to the ground and sobbed. When I touched the grass something inside made me stop and I became in awe of my surroundings and it made me so thankful for the miracle we call life. 

I totally recommend that you go lie on the grass and move your legs and arms to make your very own grass angel. Relax as you look up into the sky. Enjoy feeling the grass and absorb all the life that is surrounding you, the birds, the ants, you may even surprise yourself with some love for the worms. Allow the grass to brush your skin, you may look a bit mad to others but who cares in the end, you have spent enough time worrying about other people – This is your time and the focus is on you. 

This exercise is quick, cheap and painless, that is of course if you walk to the park and don’t jog. I totally recommend it. 

Confused: For When You Want To Know Your Future will Be Bright

When your experience of life is making you doubt the point of existing it is tough to shift the mood. 

I had struggled my whole life. Now don’t get me wrong I have achieved many amazing things but for many years I believed I wasn’t good enough so I fought to get what I wanted as it was the only thing I knew to do. And then when I met him I thought I had it all. My man had his visa after a year long slog on my part and we were setting up home and I was so looking forward to the amazing Indian wedding he had promised me. Finally I was just like everyone else. Once again I had won. Then he left me. 

I fell from the great height of happiness to a living tragedy. And not for the first time in my life either. 

One moment I would feel like giving up and the next I would know that I was worth more. One

minute I could cope the next I couldn’t. One day whilst standing on the edge of the platform waiting for the train I knew I had the ability to change everything by jumping in front of it. I totally freaked my self out with this realization. I lost my childhood sweetheart through suicide – This is something I would never do, but the thought entered my head and it scared the life out of me. 

Our lives are our choice. My partner chose to mislead me, be selfish and run away. I can’t control another person and nor can you. We cannot judge ourselves due to someone else’s actions. The only actions we can judge are our own. We can only judge ourselves with understanding, choice and acceptance. 

Do u choose to keep feeling depressed about your break up or do you choose to try and move forward? 

The following exercise was a meditation I did in a Science of Mind class and it really enabled me to vision a bright future. A future that I was in control of and that would include the best relationship I have ever had and a love that would nourish me in ways I never knew existed. 


Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breathe slowly focusing on each in breath, a small hold and then its release. 

Repeat this breathing process and work through your body relaxing and releasing allowing for you to feel heavy. Start with your toes and work all the way up to your neck and the top of your head. When you feel ready let the visualization begin. 

See yourself walking into a big library. How does it look feel and smell? Is it a local library or the library of a big old-fashioned house? 

See a chair in the middle of this room. This is your chair so it can look and feel exactly how you want it to. Go sit in your chair. 

Sit in your chair and feel comfortable. Look around the room taking in all that you see. Take as long as you wish to do this before noticing the book on the table beside your chair. 

As you look at the book notice its title, it is the story of your life. 

Pick up the book and start to turn the pages. Notice that the book is not finished. The story of your life only goes up to today’s date. 

You are the storyteller; you are the master of your own fairytale. Take a moment and ask yourself what is it that will be appearing on the future pages. How do you choose to write the rest of your life? 

See all these moments, achievements and successes in your life. Spend as much time as you wish going through each memory, each moment. Feel it, experience it in your mind and know you have the ability to create this future. 

When content with how your story has continued, close the book and place it close to your heart. Only you know the truth of your amazing future. 

Focus on your breathing, on each in breath breathe in all those happy thoughts you just experienced and suck them up through your body until they feel like they are released through the top of your head and then when ready bring your focus back into the room and open your eyes. 

It is amazing the life that we can create, and you will create it. I know you can do it. 

Lonely: Because You Feel Lonely

You feel lonely.
And if you are anything like how I was you aren’t doing yourself any favours as you don’t want to go out, the idea of speaking to boys let alone men makes you feel ill and your fat and ugly anyway. Feeling lonely is horrid. But how can you stop feeling lonely.
You feel lonely. But do you want to be lonely? That choice is yours.
Saying that feeling lonely is a choice may make you feel a little angry at this moment. You did not deserve what happened to you and you can’t help the way you feel. Or can you? The following MendMaker will give you a huge nudge in the right direction and the choice really will be yours. 


The first part of this exercise is about totally wallowing in your loneliness. Let’s get all this bitterness and self-pity out and on to some paper. Write down a list all the things that make you feel lonely. Write down the sentence “I am lonely because...” On the top of the page and then write down all that pops into your head on to the paper. Five lines, ten lines, three A4 pages, write until you have nothing more to say, just go for it. 

Now that you have totally wallowed in your loneliness you need to ask yourself whether you actually like all these things and want to be lonely. Have a little think about the benefits of being lonely and ask yourself the question “I want to be lonely because...” and fill in the blanks. Write it out just like you did in the first part of the exercise. 

If you managed to come up with any answers you need to ask yourself the question again because do you really WANT to be lonely or at this moment are you confusing it with the fear of being hurt again. When we have been hurt it creates a fear inside of us and it can make us shy away from risking our heart again. But if we don’t take risks we will never live life to the full. It is so important that we build up our emotional strength and lose our fears. This book has been designed so that you can deal immediately with any emotion that you are feeling by reading the quotes and exercises in the emotional categories of the same name. Feel free to jump straight to these sections after you have finished this exercise. This book is designed for you to go to the section that your emotional self needs the most, you don’t have to read everything in order. Simply go to the section your heart and mind needs help with and get working on it immediately. 

The next step of this exercise is to ask yourself “What would you like to experience instead of this loneliness?” Again write the following at the top of the page, “Instead of loneliness I would like ....” and again write as many things down as you wish, whatever comes to mind write it all down. The reason I say to write everything down as it comes and not question it is because when you are in the flow you enable yourself to reveal hidden thoughts and fears that you may not be aware of as yet. Once you know they are there you can work them out and you will be surprised on how fast this enables you to reap the benefits. The exercise may seem very repetitive at first but the question you place at the top of each page is very different. With each new step you are unlocking new possibilities within yourself and you will be able to see that although times are hard at the moment your world has not ended and you can stop your loneliness in a instance.
The key to this exercise is this final part

Now that you have listed what you would rather experience instead of loneliness we are going to see how you can get it and get it fast. Firstly you need to go back over your list. Write down beside each statement how you feel you can start to create that experience immediately within your life or maybe even where you have it now. 

You may have phrased your statements in many ways and there is no right or wrong. I have given a few examples of what I wrote down when I did this exercise for myself. Please note that these are copied exactly as written within my own personal notes. 

“Instead of loneliness I would like to experience happiness = I could go to a comedy night with my friends. I am not sure that I can switch on happiness but at least I would laugh for a few hours and that’s a start

Instead of loneliness I would like to not be on my own = I need to get busy and fill my diary up with things to do; I may even go and stay at a friend’s or with my parents for a few weeks. 

Instead of loneliness I would like romantic meals and to be treated like a princess = Ok so bloody impossible. How can you get romance without a partner? I can book into a spa and treat myself and to get a romantic meal. I need to be dating again, not really ready for that but I will organize some dinners with my mates and I may even try and cook something. Never actually cooked a 3 course meal for guests so it would be a challenge and if anything it will keep me busy” 

Like I found, some of your statements may feel impossible to achieve at first but try and think a little out the box and come up with something similar or an alternative if needed. It is all about doing the best you can do right now. Each of these actions and activities are getting you a huge big step away from that feeling of loneliness. You are going to be just fine – keep at it xx


Depressed: For When You Need To Laugh

Feeling down is crap; whatever anyone says or does just makes you worse. How can people just be so offensive, do they not understand the pain you are going through. Can they not see that you are the lowest form of human ever and that life is mean and cruel to you because you deserve it? 

When I felt depressed I would go through moments of hating myself and then hating the world around me. How could I be so nice and try so hard and always have everything in my life go horribly wrong? These thoughts would go over and over in my head and then before I knew it I had spent the whole weekend in bed watching re-runs of friends feeling like a saddo as they had a great life and my life was awful. 

If this is something that you can relate to then this exercise is going to get you laughing again, remember laughing? Oh what a joy it was way back when you was a happy couple. 

Ask yourself this ‘When was the last time you laughed?’ 

When I got asked this question I couldn’t remember, how is it for you? 

I first wrote about this exercise in my debut book “Sort Out Your Crap Life” and found that it really helped when I went through my break up. 


Your task is to book a time every day where you can do something fun for 30 minutes. At first you may have to force yourself to do this, you may have to even force your giggles but you will get there. Your 30 minutes can include your favorite comedy show, dancing around to your favourite music or calling a friend that makes you laugh. You really can do anything, only you know what you call fun and it has to be fun. It has to be something that you know makes you laugh. When we struggle to smile and can’t remember the last time we laughed THIS exercise makes a huge difference. 

Whilst nursing a broken heart we could go weeks without laughing and that is just not good for our soul or our healing. Becoming aware of our lack of laughter enables us to deliberately create it until it becomes natural for us again. 

Our thoughts and actions can physically change the networks in our brain. If you do more happy stuff you will end up creating a happy brain and with a happy brain comes a happy heart. 

Set a reminder in your phone for 30 minutes of laughter everyday. 

Pain: House Of Pain A Place For All Your Sadness

My head felt like it was going to explode. I didn’t know were to start and I couldn’t control my tears. I would cry at work and burst into tears on the train. I felt so ashamed of being dumped, of failing in my love life. I didn’t want to talk to my friends. I knew that they were all there but saying it out loud was just all too much for me. 

I was so ashamed that I had been dumped. 

But with the pain irrupting inside I knew I had to get it out, with his pictures still on the wall I knew I couldn’t cry over them anymore but I didn’t want to throw those memories away

So I created a special box, a box for my pain and I named it the ‘house of pain’. Inside I placed all of the pictures, the letters and the hurt. I had kept a memory boxes for each year of high school and it just felt so right to find a place for the pain in the same way I had found a place for my teenage thoughts.
Every time I felt the need I would write about the pain, often by doing an exercise that I have placed in this book and I would allow the pain to leave me and flow on to the paper and then take residence in the ‘house of pain’ by me popping it in the box. I advise you to do the same. 

Create your box and decorate it how ever you wish, you may choose to just leave it blank and hide it in your wardrobe. An old shoebox, a gift box or even a cardboard box from the supermarket, the choice of box is up to you. This is now the house for your pain, your bad thoughts and the negativity within you. You can write it down, let it leave you and place it in its new home. 

The day I decided to create this box was also the day I decide to clear up his memory, I spent a few hours gathering what was left and I tucked it up in a bigger box and placed it in my parents loft to deal with another day when I felt stronger and at ease with the break up. This action is not about avoiding the truth or your pain. It is about facing the pain head on. It is about becoming strong and taking control as you make the choice to remove it from your life. 

Anger: For When You Want To Tell Him Exactly How Much You Hate Him

Getting your emotions out without looking like a wild banshee is key when riding those ba*tard emotional waves of a break up and trying desperately to keep your dignity. 

When you can’t scream or beat up your pillows a good old-fashioned paper and pen is where anger release is at. It is time to write down what you want to say to your ex. 

Not really much explaining to do for this exercise as all you need to do is write you’re ex a letter. It is simple, you just need to pick up a pen and put all the words and emotions you have about them down on paper. Tell them exactly what you think of them. Write in capitals, in your best joined up, in blood if it makes you feel any better just get those thoughts, feelings and hardcore wild emotions out. It is also important that you do actually hand write this. 

These words and your personal expression of your emotions needs to be impressed onto that paper. 

Don’t think about what you are writing, don’t analyse it or worry about being irrational. This exercise is here to get these thoughts and feelings out of your system. What ever comes out is perfect and exactly what needs to leave your system. Write and write until you have nothing left to say. 

The paper and ink will be full of negativity after you have finished writing. All the bad stuff you don’t need in your life anymore will have moved from your hurting heart to the paper in front of you. So once you feel finished it is time to remove this anger permanently from your life by destroying the letter you have created. How you destroy it is up to you, you can rip it up into tiny bits flush it down the toilet or throw it on a fire – Please just be safe and don’t do anything dangerous if you do decide to burn your letter. 

As you see the paper disappear imagine all that negativity from your heart going with it. If you would like imagine a colour leaving your body and chasing the paper down the toilet bowl or into the fire. The colour can be anything you wish. When I did this mine was a nasty dirty green colour, yours will naturally come to you, don’t question it just let it flow. Keep your eyes open when you do this. It is important that you totally rid yourself of this anger by allowing yourself to see it disappear in front of your very eyes. The flow of colour that leaves your body represents the negative energy and painful emotions that are actually leaving your body as you do this exercise. By doing this visualization you are deepening the experience and although it may be a very new and strange thing to do try and be open to it as it is very cleansing. 

You can do this exercise as often as you wish. If you find that writing really helps you may choose to take it further and create a daily journal. Julia Cameron encourages journaling in her famous book The Artist’s Way, a book about rediscovering your creative self. A book I would totally recommend to those that discover that there writing sets them free in some way. 

Writing and releasing your emotions is very therapeutic and allows for an emotional release without any backlash for the person you are directing your words at. Due to the content of your writing it is important that you keep your written outbursts safe from the eyes of others, there are plenty of online journal websites that enable you to join for free and get writing, no one will ever see it and what’s more you can do it at work and look like your totally busy whilst manically writing about your ex and how you want to rip of their head and sh*t down their neck for all the pain that they have caused you.