When your experience of life is making you doubt the point of existing it is tough to shift the mood.
I had struggled my whole life. Now don’t get me wrong I have achieved many amazing things but for many years I believed I wasn’t good enough so I fought to get what I wanted as it was the only thing I knew to do. And then when I met him I thought I had it all. My man had his visa after a year long slog on my part and we were setting up home and I was so looking forward to the amazing Indian wedding he had promised me. Finally I was just like everyone else. Once again I had won. Then he left me.
I fell from the great height of happiness to a living tragedy. And not for the first time in my life either.
One moment I would feel like giving up and the next I would know that I was worth more. One
minute I could cope the next I couldn’t. One day whilst standing on the edge of the platform waiting for the train I knew I had the ability to change everything by jumping in front of it. I totally freaked my self out with this realization. I lost my childhood sweetheart through suicide – This is something I would never do, but the thought entered my head and it scared the life out of me.
Our lives are our choice. My partner chose to mislead me, be selfish and run away. I can’t control another person and nor can you. We cannot judge ourselves due to someone else’s actions. The only actions we can judge are our own. We can only judge ourselves with understanding, choice and acceptance.
Do u choose to keep feeling depressed about your break up or do you choose to try and move forward?
The following exercise was a meditation I did in a Science of Mind class and it really enabled me to vision a bright future. A future that I was in control of and that would include the best relationship I have ever had and a love that would nourish me in ways I never knew existed.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Breathe slowly focusing on each in breath, a small hold and then its release.
Repeat this breathing process and work through your body relaxing and releasing allowing for you to feel heavy. Start with your toes and work all the way up to your neck and the top of your head. When you feel ready let the visualization begin.
See yourself walking into a big library. How does it look feel and smell? Is it a local library or the library of a big old-fashioned house?
See a chair in the middle of this room. This is your chair so it can look and feel exactly how you want it to. Go sit in your chair.
Sit in your chair and feel comfortable. Look around the room taking in all that you see. Take as long as you wish to do this before noticing the book on the table beside your chair.
As you look at the book notice its title, it is the story of your life.
Pick up the book and start to turn the pages. Notice that the book is not finished. The story of your life only goes up to today’s date.
You are the storyteller; you are the master of your own fairytale. Take a moment and ask yourself what is it that will be appearing on the future pages. How do you choose to write the rest of your life?
See all these moments, achievements and successes in your life. Spend as much time as you wish going through each memory, each moment. Feel it, experience it in your mind and know you have the ability to create this future.
When content with how your story has continued, close the book and place it close to your heart. Only you know the truth of your amazing future.
Focus on your breathing, on each in breath breathe in all those happy thoughts you just experienced and suck them up through your body until they feel like they are released through the top of your head and then when ready bring your focus back into the room and open your eyes.
It is amazing the life that we can create, and you will create it. I know you can do it.