Envy & Jealousy: Because You’re Jealous & Don’t Know Why

What we resist persists – so indulge in it.
I am a great believer in fully experiencing your emotions so that you can own them. Once you own them you can lose them and you do this by working out how to get through them and thus change them to positive ones.
Jealousy and envy feel like such nasty emotions that even my own beliefs struggled at first when I discovered this exercise. Part of me thought that I was a bad person for feeling this way so the idea of indulging in these feelings didn’t seem right, even with all the experience and knowledge that I have. But I trusted and I did the exercise, and I got to the other side understanding why I had these emotions. By allowing myself to fully experience them I opened myself up and allowed myself to create understanding.
I discovered that on the surface I had managed to convince myself that I was feeling bad about feeling
jealous of other people whom I loved dearly. But when I looked deep down I realised that this was just a cover up story that I had fed myself. I was actually feeling bad because I thought that I wasn’t good enough to experience what they had. My issue was with lack of self-esteem. My jealousy was hiding my truth and the truth was that deep down I didn’t feel good enough to have good stuff in my life and this included marriage, babies and all that adult relationship stuff. 

By telling yourself that you shouldn’t feel jealous you will never be able to get it out of your system. If you can bring your awareness to it like I did you will allow yourself to understand where this emotion truly comes from. 

Find a place alone, close your eyes and relax. You may find that lying or sitting on your bed in the privacy of your bedroom would be good for this. Allow your feelings of envy and jealousy to come to the surface. Really experience them. Go over the situations in your mind that create these emotions. Where can you feel this jealousy in your body, is it in your throat, stomach or chest. What exactly are you jealous and envious about, really feel those reasons and ask yourself deep inside why you are feeling how you a feeling. Keep asking your self the question until you get an answer that frees you. This may sounds a bit hippy but when you get to the right answer you body will change, it will feel lighter and your head will clear. Trust that you will know and keep going until you have this feeling. As the answers come to you the emotion will dissolve and only when this happens is it time to bring your awareness back to the room and open your eyes.
If you don’t get your answers, do not worry. Everyone is individual and it is important to work at your own pace. Repeat this exercise until you do get your answer, it will come. You are making huge changes within your emotions and growth each time you do any exercise so know that every moment of time you spend on them is doing you good. 

Envy & Jealousy: For When Everyone Else’s Life Is Great & You Desperately Want To Be Like Them

Stop Comparing yourself to other people, their relationships and happiness. It is all in your head, it doesn’t exist and why cause yourself more pain. Comparing yourself to others is something you are going to do when you feel like your world has ended and that everyone you know lives a perfect life with Mr or Mrs right but this reaction cannot become a bad habit. 

Comparing yourself to other people’s happiness, contentment and perfect relationship just creates a false reality in your mind. We do not know what goes on behind closed doors. The perfect lives we create in our mind do not exist and it is a bad science experiment that just leads you to false results. You are not the same as anyone else so how can you compare your greatness to another’s. 

Every one is different – remember it
Stop being afraid of yourself – you are important and
perfect as you are. You do not need a relationship or any materialistic stuff to prove your worth. You already have everything you need.
And the grass is not always greener and the irony of all this is that the person you are currently jealous of could be thinking the same about your singleness as the reality of their relationship is not what you think. The best way to get out of this new annoying habit of comparing your crap life with everyone else’s marvel is to start by appreciating the differences and the benefits of your uniqueness. 

You are going to write three lists, on three separate pieces of paper and you are not going to stop until each A4 piece is finished. One page is to be filled with all your amazing and unique qualities. What is it that you and others like about yourself? The other is to be filled with your pride. Fill it with all the things you have achieved and all the things that make you proud to be you. You may find this page easier if you start it with the sentence ‘I am proud to be me because’ the third and final piece of paper is to be filled with all the reasons you love being single. 

I don’t really want you to focus too much on the people you have been comparing yourself too as this is not about turning the thoughts you have had about their great life into crap laughable ones but it may help you to look at them with fresh eyes and see what they have to deal with because they are in a relationship, have a mortgage and a cat that you don’t want in your life. You are free of all this stress and responsibility so be pleased about it. You don’t have to wash your partner’s pants anymore and NO MORE FARTING in bed. 

And think about this, yes you can compare your life to your best friends as much as you want but do you really really want to swap lives and relationships with them. Your focus should only ever be on you. You should only ever listen to your own hearts desire. 

Never judge yourself by other people’s standards and situations as you will miss out the adventure that is YOUR LIFE (not theirs)