Anger: For when you want to kick the sh*t out of them

I actually discovered this exercise from a Louise Hay video. After 2 days in bed crying I decided enough was enough and I watched this video to help me get out of my “I want to die” depression. Louise spoke about an exercise in which you punched all your anger and energy into a pillow. It was a release exercise to get rid of negative emotions that can cause us to hold onto the past and create disease within our bodies. It took me over 2 weeks to take action and to actually punch some pillows, and this was only after I had punched a wall and kicked in the front of my favourite stilettos. - I do not even know why I was wearing such shoes as I hadn’t actually left the house but a lot of strange things happened in this dark period that I have no answers for. 

I only mention this because I do not want you to wait that long, the quicker you start this anger release exercise the quicker you will feel better - whatever the current result or state of your love life. 

This may feel like one of those wacko hippy exercises at first especially if you haven’t ever read any kind of personal growth stuff before but it is more effective than hitting walls and it keeps your hands and your shoes safe. 

Find yourself some cushions, I find that the best place for this exercise is your bedroom as you are able to be alone and shut the rest of the world out. The bedroom also holds the memories of passion with your partner and this can cause even more emotion to erupt. This is good as we want to get it revealed and get it out as anger and distress do all kind of crazy stuff to our body and make our mind feel mad as our heart feels broken. Kneel on your bed, grab your cushions and start to punch them. Keep punching them until you are exhausted. Thoughts and memories may enter your head when you are punching, just let them flow from you and leave you’re being, you can imagine these cushions to be anyone or anything you need them to be. Talk to these cushions, shout at them, ask them why, in fact ask them all the questions you need to. You don’t even need to make sense. Allow your anger to flow out of you and whack the crap out of these cushions until you can’t whack any more. 

Your body will feel tingly. You will feel alive, and you will feel stress free and connected to yourself in a way that is really hard to explain without sounding a bit random, but once you try this you will totally know what I mean. 

Anger can lie dormant deep inside us, it sits in our tummies waiting for a totally inappropriate moment to ignite into a outburst that gets us into all kinds of trouble and causes us to behave in ways that can hurt us even more. Do this exercise as often as you need to. I would do it at least once a day for a couple of weeks and then whenever you feel sad, angry or slightly mad. 

You may find that memories of your childhood or experiences unrelated to this break up come into your mind during this exercise. This is good so just let it happen. All of our experiences make us whom we are today – if something needs to be released let it, it can only be of benefit to you. 

Our emotions are important. Notice them, accept them and move through them. You will feel angry inside until you actually express it outwardly from your body, just because you have pushed it to one side or tried to forget about it doesn’t mean that it is gone. Anyone that tells you to deny your emotions in any kind of way is a fool. Yes if you study yourself for years and work on a deep spiritual level you may be able to avoid experiencing anger but if you do experience anger in any shape or form it cannot be denied. 

Love your anger. Know why you are angry. 

You can only lose something once you own it. So own it, experience it in your own controlled environment where it can hurt no one and then let it go. 

Pain - Heal The Pain Of A Break Up With The Pain Pages

Regret, sadness, resentment, relief, loss, grief, a mixture of emotions so huge I have created a book out of them.
Whatever emotion you are feeling right now or were feeling a few hours ago will be causing you pain in some shape or form. It could be physical pain, emotional pain or both. The term heartache is very apt as it is not unheard of for our heart to feel like it is physically aching when we go through a break up. For me I lost a huge amount of weight in a few days, my heart ached and my belly hurt. The feeling was so deep I really did feel that it would be easier to go asleep and not wake up. I remember having moments where I would actually understand how and why old lady’s can die a few days after their husbands; I would then cry some more as it was highly unlikely that I would ever have a husband to die for. The pain made me very dramatic. 

Pain is sh*t, it is not a nice experience and it feels even worse when it has the bitter taste of a break up attached to it. So the question is how do you stop this pain?
The funny thing about pain is that it is usually pointing to something that you need to heal or look at within your life.
My man had treated me like a fool and lied to me about some pretty serious stuff. Morally I knew what he had done was wrong and that he was weak, but I was weak too as without him I didn’t think I was complete. I didn’t think I could be happy. And most importantly to me at the time I wasn’t like everyone else my age without him at my side. I needed him for all the wrong reasons, reasons I needed to become aware of and heal for myself. What is your pain telling you?
I found it hard to listen to my pain at first. It just hurt too much, but the more I tried the more I began to understand it and with that it faded slightly.
Now this may seem a little weird to you but pain is always telling us something and we owe it to ourselves to listen. A great way I found to do this was with the following silent listening and writing exercise.

Find a quiet spot, sit quietly, close your eyes and turn off all distractions like your phone or the Internet.
Take a few moments to quiet yourself by breathing deeply into your tummy. If thoughts come to you acknowledge them and let them float away like clouds and bring your attention back to your breathing. 

When you feel relaxed move your attention to your heart and breathe into the heartbreak. Just allow yourself to fully pay attention to this area of your body and the pain of your broken heart. Do not have any judgment just breathe and listen. 

The aim is to be totally focused on yourself and how your heart is feeling, as thoughts start to enter your head, pick up your pen and paper and start writing these thoughts down. You may stop and start and go back to breathing and focusing on your heart in between or you may find you start writing and can’t stop for ages. Get it all out. This really is about what works for you. You don’t need to worry about what it looks like or even think about what you are writing just get it out. 

Write down what the pain of your heart is saying to you. Don’t question it – Let it flow out. You can read it a little later; at this point it is only important to focus on listening to what the pain is telling you and to keep the writing flowing.
Keep going until you have exhausted yourself of your thoughts and writing. There is no time frame on this; you will know when the time feels right. Do not do yourself a disservice by stopping too soon. You deserve to give yourself this time and healing. 

Relax and breathe for a few moments once you have decided to stop and when you feel completely back in the room take a few minutes to grab yourself a glass of water and refresh yourself. 

Once you have drunk your water take your writing and read over it. Drinking the water is more of a distraction to break your state to be honest – drink whatever you wish, go to the toilet, have a fag, do whatever you need to do before you sit down and read through your Pain Pages. 

Now it is time to read over your Pain Pages. As you read do not judge yourself just think about what you can learn and what you have realised.
Once read it is time to let this pain go, place it in your House of Pain box (another MendMaker exercise within this category) and know that it is out
of your system. If you haven’t created a pain box you can destroy this pain by stamping on it, tearing it into tiny pieces and then throwing it away.
This exercise is great, I found myself doing it on train rides and all sorts. It allows for an immediate deep release of your hurt. We should never deny ourselves our pain. We can only experience true heartbreak pain because we have experienced true love. The more you do this exercise the more you learn about yourself. This exercise helped me feel dramatically different in a short space of time. I realized that I had beliefs about myself from childhood that had been affecting my choices in relationships. This exercise helped me grow strong and confident and I now know that in my next relationship I would not settle for anything less than a respectful and kind partner. 

Isolated: Do All The Things Your Partner Didn’t Like Or Want You To Do

Sitting around moping is just not good enough.. Thinking about what you have lost and hiding away is doing you no good. 

It is time to think of all the things you have gained. You have total freedom. 

You can do what you want when you want and this MendMaker is all about making sure that you do. 

Write a list of everything your partner didn’t like you doing. Did he or she not like you wearing a certain pair of shoes? Did they stop you from drinking on a school night? Did they not like you hanging around with a particular friend for a reason you never quite understood? Write it all down

And then, just do it. Tick off your list one by one. 

You are free to do what ever you want. You should have never altered yourself in any way to suit someone else. Yes you are a good kind considerate and loyal person but being loyal and kind to others should not mean that you can not be kind and loyal to yourself. You have to start with you with everything you do in your life .Be kind to yourself by being totally who you are. Our partners should compliment us and never hold us back. 

Your partner held you back if you have a list, its that simple and now you are free so go tick of that list.