I actually discovered this exercise from a Louise Hay video. After 2 days in bed crying I decided enough was enough and I watched this video to help me get out of my “I want to die” depression. Louise spoke about an exercise in which you punched all your anger and energy into a pillow. It was a release exercise to get rid of negative emotions that can cause us to hold onto the past and create disease within our bodies. It took me over 2 weeks to take action and to actually punch some pillows, and this was only after I had punched a wall and kicked in the front of my favourite stilettos. - I do not even know why I was wearing such shoes as I hadn’t actually left the house but a lot of strange things happened in this dark period that I have no answers for.
I only mention this because I do not want you to wait that long, the quicker you start this anger release exercise the quicker you will feel better - whatever the current result or state of your love life.
This may feel like one of those wacko hippy exercises at first especially if you haven’t ever read any kind of personal growth stuff before but it is more effective than hitting walls and it keeps your hands and your shoes safe.
Find yourself some cushions, I find that the best place for this exercise is your bedroom as you are able to be alone and shut the rest of the world out. The bedroom also holds the memories of passion with your partner and this can cause even more emotion to erupt. This is good as we want to get it revealed and get it out as anger and distress do all kind of crazy stuff to our body and make our mind feel mad as our heart feels broken. Kneel on your bed, grab your cushions and start to punch them. Keep punching them until you are exhausted. Thoughts and memories may enter your head when you are punching, just let them flow from you and leave you’re being, you can imagine these cushions to be anyone or anything you need them to be. Talk to these cushions, shout at them, ask them why, in fact ask them all the questions you need to. You don’t even need to make sense. Allow your anger to flow out of you and whack the crap out of these cushions until you can’t whack any more.
Your body will feel tingly. You will feel alive, and you will feel stress free and connected to yourself in a way that is really hard to explain without sounding a bit random, but once you try this you will totally know what I mean.
Anger can lie dormant deep inside us, it sits in our tummies waiting for a totally inappropriate moment to ignite into a outburst that gets us into all kinds of trouble and causes us to behave in ways that can hurt us even more. Do this exercise as often as you need to. I would do it at least once a day for a couple of weeks and then whenever you feel sad, angry or slightly mad.
You may find that memories of your childhood or experiences unrelated to this break up come into your mind during this exercise. This is good so just let it happen. All of our experiences make us whom we are today – if something needs to be released let it, it can only be of benefit to you.
Our emotions are important. Notice them, accept them and move through them. You will feel angry inside until you actually express it outwardly from your body, just because you have pushed it to one side or tried to forget about it doesn’t mean that it is gone. Anyone that tells you to deny your emotions in any kind of way is a fool. Yes if you study yourself for years and work on a deep spiritual level you may be able to avoid experiencing anger but if you do experience anger in any shape or form it cannot be denied.
Love your anger. Know why you are angry.
You can only lose something once you own it. So own it, experience it in your own controlled environment where it can hurt no one and then let it go.